DTVM
SC8106 Conceptualisation & Structure
CA10 – ‘Writing a Story Treatment’
09/10 Sem 2
___________________________________________________________________
Blending Colours
‘Beauty is in the eye of the beholder’
Written by
Simon Koh Yuan Zhi
ACT ONE
Jordan, Bryan, Saranya and Gopal are watching TV. Diana complains how the interior of the house looks old. Saranya agrees and says the house should be repainted. Jordan then adds in that maybe everyone should chip in to spruce up the house.
Meanwhile, Timothy is together with his “beng” friends when an old lady wearing expensive jewelry passes by. One “beng” dares Timothy to rob her. Timothy rejects by saying that he’s afraid he might get caught but the rest of the group begins to egg him on and promises to help him out. After more pressuring, Timothy gives in.
The household is watching TV at home. Jordan is switching channels when he sees the Miss Universe finals on air. In passing, he says that there's no point watching the show since Miss USA is going to win anyways. Gopal and Saranya step in and disagree. Instead, they says they think that Miss India would win instead. They go back and forth like this for awhile. Unable to reach a conclusion, they decide to stay tuned the Miss Universe finals.
ACT TWO
Timothy and the” bengs” are stalking the old lady around void decks. She stops at a lift lobby to wait for the lift. The group acts immediately and robs her of her jewelry. As they’re running away, the old lady begins to scream for help. Feeling guilty, Timothy decides to turn around and return the jewelry while his friends run off. Just as Timothy reaches the lady, a policewoman appears out of a corner. It is Diana. Upon seeing the jewelry in Timothy’s hands, Diana arrests Timothy and brings the old lady to the police station to take her statement.
By the time the show gets to the swimsuit round, the argument escalates with Gopal and Jordan increasing their bets to fifty dollars. Both Miss USA and Miss India pass and it's a draw for Jordan and Gopal.
At the evening gown round, the winners are chosen based on their clothing. Miss USA wears a revealing dress. Jordan comments that she looks great with the dress because it shows off her figure. Gopal, on the other hand, complains about it's too revealing.
Miss India's choice for the evening gown round is a conservative non-revealing dress. Gopal claims that women should dress that way. Jordan complains that the dress covers her body too much. Both of them begin arguing again so they raise the stakes. Now, the bet is raised to a hundred dollars. In the middle of this, Bryan is furiously taking down notes and sketches for future reference. The judges begin to discuss.
At the interrogation room, Timothy tries to explain but Diana refuses to listen. Just then, another police officer enters and says that the old lady is not pressing any charges.
Both Miss India and Miss USA make it into the top five. Once again, Gopal and Jordan come to a draw.
For the final round aka the Interview round, the contestants have to justify their wardrobe choices in the previous round. Before the round even begins, Jordan and Gopal are so sure of victory that they raise the stakes even more. If Miss India wins, Jordan would let out the master bedroom to Gopal and Saranya at the same price as their guest room. If Miss USA wins, Gopal would pay for new renovations for the entire house. The final round begins.
Miss USA says it's because she has a great figure and she wants to show it off. She quotes the phrase "If you got it, flaunt it”. Jordan and Diana completely agree while Gopal and Saranya shakes his head and calls it nonsense. The judges criticise Miss USA for picking an outfit that was too skimpy to the point where it was unbefitting for a Miss Universe contestant. At this, Gopal feels even more certain that Miss India would win while Jordan laments that it is perfectly okay to show some skin.
For Miss India, she says it's because she wants to show her modesty and self-respect by choosing a full-bodied dress. She says she wants to show her inner beauty. At this, the judges critique her for not staying true to the competition. They say that after all, it is a beauty pageant first and foremost. Wearing a dress that doesn't show off one's body only works against her. Gopal cries foul and accuses the judges of being hypocrites while Jordan agrees with the judges.
Both men now await the final verdict with worried faces.
ACT THREE
For the first time, Diana sits down and listens to what Timothy has to say. After listening to everything that Timothy has to say, she gives Timothy a lecture. She tells Timothy that those “bengs” aren’t his real friends. When he was in trouble, they were missing. She advises him to break off with them before they make him do worse things. Timothy realises his folly and promises to stop hanging out with that group of “bengs”.
As for the competition, a twist happens when it's Miss China who emerges the winner. Both Gopal and Jordan turn speechless. Neither of them even noticed that that there was a Miss China in the final five, nor the other two Miss Universe finalists for that matter because they were too occupied with the contestant that they were rooting for.
Having chosen a tight-fitting Qi Pao as her evening gown, Miss China says it's because she wants to show off her curves without actually revealing her body and to create a fusion between tradition and modernity. The judges think its the best answer and awards the Miss Universe award to her.
In the end, it's still a draw. Just then, Bryan looks up and is greeted by the annoyed glares of Gopal and Jordan.
(999 words)
Sunday, June 6, 2010
Sunday, May 30, 2010
Possible Sub Plots
1) Conflict between Eddie and Celine (father and daughter)
2) Celine resents Eddie for chasing her mother away. However, because Eddie has a more stable job, custody of Celine was given to Eddie and Celine hates him for that. After all, the both father and daughter were already estranged when the family was still together. Now, the relationship is even more strained.
3) Conflict between mentor and Eddie.
4) Plot change. Father and daughter didn't shift to Skyline City. They were already living in it, even when the family was still intact. Fact that parents divorced and Eddie got custody of Celine remains, but now, wife (give a name) is still in Skyline City as well. She visits Celine every weekend.
With the progression of the story, wife gets kidnapped too.
Note: Save wife and daughter = Saving the family?
2) Celine resents Eddie for chasing her mother away. However, because Eddie has a more stable job, custody of Celine was given to Eddie and Celine hates him for that. After all, the both father and daughter were already estranged when the family was still together. Now, the relationship is even more strained.
3) Conflict between mentor and Eddie.
4) Plot change. Father and daughter didn't shift to Skyline City. They were already living in it, even when the family was still intact. Fact that parents divorced and Eddie got custody of Celine remains, but now, wife (give a name) is still in Skyline City as well. She visits Celine every weekend.
With the progression of the story, wife gets kidnapped too.
Note: Save wife and daughter = Saving the family?
The Original Story
Singapore Polytechnic
School of Communication, Arts and Social Sciences
Diploma in Creative Writing for TV and New Media (DTVM)
_____________________________________________________________
SC8103 Heroes, Myths & Legends
CA10 (Individual Presentation & Written, 40%, Due Wk 18)
‘The Hero’
Done by : Simon Koh Yuan Zhi
Character Description
Eddie
A chocolatier working in a dessert restaurant called Tiramisu. He has a special talent for being able to keep his hands cool for long periods of time even by the standards of chocolatiers. (Maintaining a low temperature on the hands allows the chocolatier to work longer with the chocolate sculptures without melting the chocolate.) This plus his creative mind allows him to create exquisite chocolate sculptures that would mesmerise everyone who lays their eyes on it. Little does he know, his powers were meant for a lot more than just chocolate sculpting. Eddie doesn’t know the full extent of his powers as there have been no stimuli to unleash his power to its fullest potential. Hence it lays dormant in him. However, after the inciting incident, his powers fully awaken and its only then does he realise, he can create a field of subzero temperatures between his palms. He uses this to create ice from water in the air and is able to blast enemies with it.
Back Story
He loves his family, or rather, what’s left of it. Because he was so focused on establishing his career when he was young, his wife couldn’t take being neglected anymore and ran away with another man. Now, he only has his teenage daughter, Celine, left and he loves her very dearly. Because of Eddie’s inability to handle his wife leaving him, he couldn’t cooperate well with other colleagues during work. Hence, Eddie and Celine have moved around a lot but when they moved to Skyline City, Eddie decides not to shift anymore and stay for good for the sake of his daughter.
Setting
The story is set in a city called Skyline City. It has very high crime rates, partly because of a crime syndicate called COMA. COMA commits robberies, extortion, kidnapping and murder in order to gain money. Its members are heavily armoured and armed. COMA has spies and cameras all over the city in order to have complete surveillance over the citizens. The police cannot control them as they are too weak.
Allies and Enemies
Michael (Mentor)
Once a famous chocolatier himself when he was young, he took in Eddie as in protégé and has imparted all his chocolate sculpting skills to him. Eddie often goes back to consult his teacher when he runs into difficulties. Michael also happens to be an ex-commando in the army and possesses a high level of mastery for the martial arts.
Shadow
Crimson (Villain)
Opposite to Eddie, he has the power of flames in his hands. He uses it to attack as well as fly. He is the mastermind behind the crime syndicate called COMA. No one has ever seen Crimson before in real life. Crimson’s ultimate aim is to control the city using fear and he does this through COMA. By intimidating other people into doing his bidding, he managed to build up a criminal syndicate that came to be known as COMA over the years.
The Hero’s Journey
Eddie is a chocolatier who has just shifted to Skyline City with his daughter, Celine. He was famous for making beautiful chocolate sculptures because of his constantly low palm temperature. Even when his colleagues had to take a break because they’d be risking frostbite if they didn’t, Eddie could still go on without stopping.
One day, like any normal day, a group of COMA agents storms Tiramisu, the restaurant that Eddie is working in and rounds up all the chefs. One cook tries to stand up to them but he gets beaten up badly in return. The rest of the chefs don’t fight back as they are too scared. Eddie is petrified as well. However, he can’t stand seeing his colleague getting hit over and over again. He stands up and pushes away the agent hitting his friend. To his surprise, the agent becomes frozen in ice. The rest of the COMA agents are stunned. Eddie, regains his composure first and pushes aside all the agents who were blocking the exit. They all become frozen. He is astounded beyond belief. However, he knows he has to leave the area before more agents arrive and flees the scene.
Not knowing what to do, Eddie decides to look for his mentor, Michael. Eddie goes to his home and shows him his newfound power. Michael is taken aback at first but his face later becomes serious. He has always hated COMA for doing all those bad deeds. However, he couldn’t do anything by himself. With Eddie’s newfound power, he sees an opportunity to take down COMA for good. He tells Eddie that he should make use of his new power to stop COMA before they do anymore harm to the people. Eddie is shocked and refuses. He says he just wants a normal life with his daughter. His mentor argues that now the restaurant has been thrashed and yet the chefs escaped, COMA would be hunting them down, Eddie included. Eddie still refuses, saying it’s none of his business. His mentor then says he should think for his daughter too. He says the city is too dangerous for his daughter to grow up in and yet Eddie doesn’t want to move anymore so he has to make a stand. At the thought of his daughter, Eddie reluctantly agrees.
Then, Michael brings Eddie to a secret room in his apartment. There’s a gym there and a storeroom for weapons. Michael trains Eddie in the martial arts and teaches him how to fight on various terrains and how to fight when he’s outnumbered. Eddie also learns to create armour out of ice and ice walls to deflect bullets as well as trap enemies in a maze of icy mirrors where he can then catch them off guard. Eddie’s adventure now begins.
In order not to get recognised, both Eddie and Michael wear masks in order to conceal their face. They go around the city stopping COMA agents from terrorising the people. With Michael’s army experience and Eddie’s power, they easily manage to subdue the agents and leave the area quickly before the police arrive to arrest the agents.. However, they soon realise that it’s not enough just to stop them each time they make a move because the criminal organisation is so huge that it’s like clearing weeds. After being removed, more appear the next day. Hence, they hijack a COMA armoured vehicle to locate the headquarters of COMA to stop the mastermind.
Meanwhile, their activities gain the attention of Crimson, the mastermind behind COMA. During one rescue mission, Eddie’s mask was knocked off by a COMA agent before Eddie defeats him. A hidden camera had captured Eddie’s face and was transmitted to COMA headquarters. Crimson finds out that he has a teenage daughter, Celine, and decides to kidnap her. One day Eddie returns home and realises his house is in a mess. His daughter is gone and there’s a note, along with an address, saying that Celine has been kidnapped and if he wants her back, he has to meet Crimson.
The COMA headquarters turn out to be a regular looking factory at the outskirts of town. The guards there are stronger but Eddie and Michael make it through albeit having a little difficulty.
At the top floor, they meet Crimson for the first time. Crimson admits he is the mastermind behind COMA. Eddie and Michael move to attack him but at that moment, Crimson brings out Celine. Eddie and Michael stop. Crimson asks to exchange Michael for Celine. Eddie is put into a dilemma. Michael whispers to Eddie that it’s all up to him now to stop Crimson. He then goes over to be exchanged with Celine. Crimson simply throws Celine to Eddie. Eddie catches her midair and checks for any injuries on her but to his relief, nothing seems to be wrong except that she’s unconscious. Eddie turns to glare at Crimson but to his horror, Michael is blasted with a gush of flames and dies. Eddie is enraged and fights Crimson fire with ice. However, he’s in unfamiliar territory now. He has never fought someone like Crimson before.
He tries to make his ice weapons and armour but they are melted by Crimson’s flames. He tries to form his ice walls but Crimson heats up the area to prevent the ice from forming.
Before Eddie can think of anything else, Crimson blasts him with a torrent of flames and he lays on the ground severely injured. Crimson, floating on the air, charges a powerful flame burst. Eddie thinks Crimson is going to finish him off but Crimson says he is going to kill his daughter right before his eyes. That’s when he notices that Crimson’s aim was directed to his unconscious daughter at the corner.
Eddie roars “NO!” and a bright glow radiates from within Eddie to the entire room. To his surprise, everything seems to have stopped moving. He then realises that in his whirlwind of emotions, he has managed to freeze time. He brings Celine to safety. Then, he rushes to Crimson and freezes him in a thick block of ice before leaving.
Eddie is carrying his daughter on his back a distance away from the factory when he hears police sirens arriving at the scene. Celine’s flutter open and she says “Daddy, where are we?”. Eddie looks deeply into her eyes and simply says “Home, dear. We are home.”
_________________________________________________
(1617 words)
School of Communication, Arts and Social Sciences
Diploma in Creative Writing for TV and New Media (DTVM)
_____________________________________________________________
SC8103 Heroes, Myths & Legends
CA10 (Individual Presentation & Written, 40%, Due Wk 18)
‘The Hero’
Done by : Simon Koh Yuan Zhi
Character Description
Eddie
A chocolatier working in a dessert restaurant called Tiramisu. He has a special talent for being able to keep his hands cool for long periods of time even by the standards of chocolatiers. (Maintaining a low temperature on the hands allows the chocolatier to work longer with the chocolate sculptures without melting the chocolate.) This plus his creative mind allows him to create exquisite chocolate sculptures that would mesmerise everyone who lays their eyes on it. Little does he know, his powers were meant for a lot more than just chocolate sculpting. Eddie doesn’t know the full extent of his powers as there have been no stimuli to unleash his power to its fullest potential. Hence it lays dormant in him. However, after the inciting incident, his powers fully awaken and its only then does he realise, he can create a field of subzero temperatures between his palms. He uses this to create ice from water in the air and is able to blast enemies with it.
Back Story
He loves his family, or rather, what’s left of it. Because he was so focused on establishing his career when he was young, his wife couldn’t take being neglected anymore and ran away with another man. Now, he only has his teenage daughter, Celine, left and he loves her very dearly. Because of Eddie’s inability to handle his wife leaving him, he couldn’t cooperate well with other colleagues during work. Hence, Eddie and Celine have moved around a lot but when they moved to Skyline City, Eddie decides not to shift anymore and stay for good for the sake of his daughter.
Setting
The story is set in a city called Skyline City. It has very high crime rates, partly because of a crime syndicate called COMA. COMA commits robberies, extortion, kidnapping and murder in order to gain money. Its members are heavily armoured and armed. COMA has spies and cameras all over the city in order to have complete surveillance over the citizens. The police cannot control them as they are too weak.
Allies and Enemies
Michael (Mentor)
Once a famous chocolatier himself when he was young, he took in Eddie as in protégé and has imparted all his chocolate sculpting skills to him. Eddie often goes back to consult his teacher when he runs into difficulties. Michael also happens to be an ex-commando in the army and possesses a high level of mastery for the martial arts.
Shadow
Crimson (Villain)
Opposite to Eddie, he has the power of flames in his hands. He uses it to attack as well as fly. He is the mastermind behind the crime syndicate called COMA. No one has ever seen Crimson before in real life. Crimson’s ultimate aim is to control the city using fear and he does this through COMA. By intimidating other people into doing his bidding, he managed to build up a criminal syndicate that came to be known as COMA over the years.
The Hero’s Journey
Eddie is a chocolatier who has just shifted to Skyline City with his daughter, Celine. He was famous for making beautiful chocolate sculptures because of his constantly low palm temperature. Even when his colleagues had to take a break because they’d be risking frostbite if they didn’t, Eddie could still go on without stopping.
One day, like any normal day, a group of COMA agents storms Tiramisu, the restaurant that Eddie is working in and rounds up all the chefs. One cook tries to stand up to them but he gets beaten up badly in return. The rest of the chefs don’t fight back as they are too scared. Eddie is petrified as well. However, he can’t stand seeing his colleague getting hit over and over again. He stands up and pushes away the agent hitting his friend. To his surprise, the agent becomes frozen in ice. The rest of the COMA agents are stunned. Eddie, regains his composure first and pushes aside all the agents who were blocking the exit. They all become frozen. He is astounded beyond belief. However, he knows he has to leave the area before more agents arrive and flees the scene.
Not knowing what to do, Eddie decides to look for his mentor, Michael. Eddie goes to his home and shows him his newfound power. Michael is taken aback at first but his face later becomes serious. He has always hated COMA for doing all those bad deeds. However, he couldn’t do anything by himself. With Eddie’s newfound power, he sees an opportunity to take down COMA for good. He tells Eddie that he should make use of his new power to stop COMA before they do anymore harm to the people. Eddie is shocked and refuses. He says he just wants a normal life with his daughter. His mentor argues that now the restaurant has been thrashed and yet the chefs escaped, COMA would be hunting them down, Eddie included. Eddie still refuses, saying it’s none of his business. His mentor then says he should think for his daughter too. He says the city is too dangerous for his daughter to grow up in and yet Eddie doesn’t want to move anymore so he has to make a stand. At the thought of his daughter, Eddie reluctantly agrees.
Then, Michael brings Eddie to a secret room in his apartment. There’s a gym there and a storeroom for weapons. Michael trains Eddie in the martial arts and teaches him how to fight on various terrains and how to fight when he’s outnumbered. Eddie also learns to create armour out of ice and ice walls to deflect bullets as well as trap enemies in a maze of icy mirrors where he can then catch them off guard. Eddie’s adventure now begins.
In order not to get recognised, both Eddie and Michael wear masks in order to conceal their face. They go around the city stopping COMA agents from terrorising the people. With Michael’s army experience and Eddie’s power, they easily manage to subdue the agents and leave the area quickly before the police arrive to arrest the agents.. However, they soon realise that it’s not enough just to stop them each time they make a move because the criminal organisation is so huge that it’s like clearing weeds. After being removed, more appear the next day. Hence, they hijack a COMA armoured vehicle to locate the headquarters of COMA to stop the mastermind.
Meanwhile, their activities gain the attention of Crimson, the mastermind behind COMA. During one rescue mission, Eddie’s mask was knocked off by a COMA agent before Eddie defeats him. A hidden camera had captured Eddie’s face and was transmitted to COMA headquarters. Crimson finds out that he has a teenage daughter, Celine, and decides to kidnap her. One day Eddie returns home and realises his house is in a mess. His daughter is gone and there’s a note, along with an address, saying that Celine has been kidnapped and if he wants her back, he has to meet Crimson.
The COMA headquarters turn out to be a regular looking factory at the outskirts of town. The guards there are stronger but Eddie and Michael make it through albeit having a little difficulty.
At the top floor, they meet Crimson for the first time. Crimson admits he is the mastermind behind COMA. Eddie and Michael move to attack him but at that moment, Crimson brings out Celine. Eddie and Michael stop. Crimson asks to exchange Michael for Celine. Eddie is put into a dilemma. Michael whispers to Eddie that it’s all up to him now to stop Crimson. He then goes over to be exchanged with Celine. Crimson simply throws Celine to Eddie. Eddie catches her midair and checks for any injuries on her but to his relief, nothing seems to be wrong except that she’s unconscious. Eddie turns to glare at Crimson but to his horror, Michael is blasted with a gush of flames and dies. Eddie is enraged and fights Crimson fire with ice. However, he’s in unfamiliar territory now. He has never fought someone like Crimson before.
He tries to make his ice weapons and armour but they are melted by Crimson’s flames. He tries to form his ice walls but Crimson heats up the area to prevent the ice from forming.
Before Eddie can think of anything else, Crimson blasts him with a torrent of flames and he lays on the ground severely injured. Crimson, floating on the air, charges a powerful flame burst. Eddie thinks Crimson is going to finish him off but Crimson says he is going to kill his daughter right before his eyes. That’s when he notices that Crimson’s aim was directed to his unconscious daughter at the corner.
Eddie roars “NO!” and a bright glow radiates from within Eddie to the entire room. To his surprise, everything seems to have stopped moving. He then realises that in his whirlwind of emotions, he has managed to freeze time. He brings Celine to safety. Then, he rushes to Crimson and freezes him in a thick block of ice before leaving.
Eddie is carrying his daughter on his back a distance away from the factory when he hears police sirens arriving at the scene. Celine’s flutter open and she says “Daddy, where are we?”. Eddie looks deeply into her eyes and simply says “Home, dear. We are home.”
_________________________________________________
(1617 words)
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